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The Crows Whispered Their Secrets to Me [15-END]

July 22nd, 2013, 6:59 pm

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zenmigawa
Posted by zenmigawa
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The end of a new beginning.

Aaaaaand that's my first one-shot manga, took four months to do. Hope you liked it.

Shown to: [Kodansha] Morning, Afternoon, [Shogakukan] Weekly Shonen Sunday, [Shonen Gahosha] Young King Ours
GRILLED FOR:
1) While the story takes place in Kyoto, to the average Japanese, it doesn't "feel" like Japan. I haven't observed and researched daily Japan - and Kyoto in particular - to nail down the details that help suspend the reader's disbelief.
2) Too much text; it reads like an American comic.
3) Not enough practice with drawing in general.

PRAISED FOR:
1) Interesting premise: for an average bus driver to meet a talking crow is certainly a mysterious occurence.
2) Choice of words, particularly when the crow and bus driver talk about the niceties (or dullness) of life.

Posted at July 22nd, 2013, 7:08 pm

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Posted at October 21st, 2017, 5:05 am

zenmigawa
Posted by zenmigawa
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Forgot to mention...

As for the text, my teacher took it upon himself to translate (read: fix) all of it for me. He read it and was like, "Yeah, no one's gonna get what you're trying to say with this level of Japanese." It stung hard, but he also made it better. :p

For a little while after, I re-studied my Japanese, wanting to make sure this never happened again. 'Cuz teachers don't have the time to fix just one student's dialogue.

Posted at July 23rd, 2013, 12:52 am

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