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Endless Maiden Circuit [32-END]

August 9th, 2013, 2:36 pm

Average Rating: None
Stand triumphant!
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Author's Comments:

Posted by zenmigawa

Idols stand tall.

Fourth one-shot down. While this is the one manga that's truest to what I really wanted to draw long-term, in hindsight this also ended up being the most "juvenile" of the seven - juvenile being that I just ran with whatever I wanted without really thinking it through in a critical sense. One of my teachers said, "This coulda been the one that got you an editor's business card, 'cept in the end... too many elements sorta didn't work out for the work."


Shown to: [Shogakukan] Weekly Shonen Sunday, [Shonen Gahosha] Young King OURS
1) Not... very thoroughly planned. Miharu's papa's influence isn't properly depicted, and otherwise a lot of fat could've been trimmed for a leaner, tighter, more impactful robot manga.
2) The art is jumbled and outdated. Can't tell what's going on in some panels, and otherwise not a lot of (shonen manga) readers are going to give such a retro look a second glance.
3) Poor art direction. Impact on a lot of very key scenes are wasted because of poor paneling (Featherline tackling the giant mutant cockroach should've been given a two-page spread, for example). No difference in line quality between machines/backgrounds and characters, making them blend together as one entity rather than being distinctly separate things.
4) A maid robot? (Yeah, in hindsight, that's my fault... it was a throwback to the story's original concept - a maid piloting a maid robot.)
5) The dialogue still explains too much to the reader; it doesn't read like regular dialogue, it reads like exposition. The author really needs to hold back on that, and focus more on exposition via actions and pictures.

1) (From a shonen manga editor's PoV) Compared to the previous manga I've shown, this one's more interesting to read.
2) The author's sense of fun and love for the work, the characters, everything can be felt with each page. If it had been more thoroughly planned and executed, it would've been printworthy.
3) Cute characters. Would've stood to be a little more cuter, but otherwise they stand out.

Posted at August 9th, 2013, 3:04 pm

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Posted at July 22nd, 2018, 5:11 pm

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